Mar. 19, 2009
Not in the name of marriage?
lfar:
Though the “Mr.” title is used for both 10-yr olds and 80-yr olds, I think it’s a bit presumptuous to say that it’s always used in the same way. I never referred to myself as a Mr. when I was 10, and the only people who did were being sarcastic. When a man signs the marriage register, he assumes a new identity as well. (At least he’d better. Otherwise he has no business making that commitment.) Last names/ the “Mrs.” title aren’t being evaluated on the basis of equality in this debate: they’re being evaluated on the individualistic assumption that changing them has the power to change one’s entire identity. For some this may be true, but for the vast majority this debate does the disservice of confining one’s identity to a couple of letters. Last names, which have a lot more to do with where you come from than who you are, don’t have to be a symbol of equality - equality is about things far more important than that. So please, devote more time to things that truly matter, like equality in education, than to things that only matter to one person - you.Ah, Mr and Mrs: how homely, how familiar, how quaint. You see, I will never become a Mrs, and I will never take my husband’s name. If pushed, I choose Ms, but otherwise I will always be me. First name. Surname. It startles me that so many women of my generation never question this bizarre ritual. As soon as a woman signs the marriage register she assumes a new identity. It may be merely symbolic, but it’s that symbolism that most jars with today’s notions of equality.
